Her favorite T-shirt read “Messy hair, don’t care” She preferred to kick it in jeans or shorts and T’s, putting on the first thing she’d see, and she was off and running. She was only interested in moving, climbing, running, and never seemed to give a care to anything she wore. She was also three.
That Christmas her grandmother had gifted her a red dress. A vision of Sugarplums and Christmas confections, it had a rounded scooped-neck sleeveless bodice and flowed into layer upon layer of tulle that made the dress look like it could float. And so could she simply by wearing it. Suddenly, in wearing the dress she moved with grace and gentleness, she smiled shyly, and she twirled. And twirled again, in case you missed it, and again. I couldn’t believe the transformation of how she moved, how she behaved simply by donning that dress. At three, she couldn’t really articulate it, but it was just so evident. She felt pretty. And it changed how she moved in her world.
In 2001, I finally made the jump to the dot com boom. It was about to go bust a few months later. But most people didn’t know that yet. There were urban legends of optioned “secretaries” who became millionaires when the company went public, summer ice cream trucks and happy hours, and every day was casual Friday. For those of us in stuffy or politicking corporate environments, the relaxed equal opportunity of a start-up sang like the pied piper, and many of my colleagues were joining the tune. I jumped with my boss, when he left to lead an ad sales office and invited me to join. I wasn’t a risk taker, but it seemed too good to turn down. It was exciting, it was innovative, and it was purposeful. We were told we were the future, because of us, people would move their computers from their home office to their family room, online shopping was going to take off, and the sounds of dial up were going away. And then there were spontaneous company lunches, flex hours, and I can’t even tell you the joy I felt to pull on jeans every morning. It felt decadent and like every day was Friday. One colleague wore, jeans, a hooded sweatshirt and sneakers every day (note: this was before sneakers were acceptable fashion accessories outside of the gym). I didn’t go that far, usually pairing a sweater set or blouse with my jeans and flats or loafers. But then a funny thing happened. I started acting relaxed and casual. I realized one day making the winding path from the parking deck to my office, I no longer had the same sense of professionalism, and my energy was relaxed and less hungry. I felt easily distracted and found excuses to procrastinate on tasks. Coming into awareness of this, I immediately imposed an only-jeans-on-Friday rule on myself. Instead, my Monday to Thursday wardrobe became slacks and heels. Months later, making the same winding walk to my office, I became very aware of my heels as I stepped. For one, it was far, and they were high. They were Marc Jacobs, a black leather peep toe with ballet pink piping along the edge. I got them on clearance at Nordstrom, and they had begun what would be a deep and long love affair with high heels. But as I walked, I felt grounded in my strength, able, and empowered. And I brought that to work.
The company still went bust, my options worth nothing, and we were all laid off in one fell swoop. But I learned something about myself and about fashion. It’s the same reason why locked down in 2020, working every day alone at my dining room table, I wore shoes, even my heels.
Your clothes aren’t just something you wear. They have the power to influence you. They remind us of who we are, or who we’re becoming.
Can you think of a moment when you felt unstoppable in something you wore?
How would your confidence shift if your outer style matched your inner evolution?
Personal Styling with In-Form and Fashion – My approach to fashion and styling is not simply about trends or brands but is rooted in listening deeply to your story so your wardrobe feels aligned, effortless, and uniquely yours. We’ll begin with a Style Discovery Form. It’s more than a questionnaire, it’s a way or me to hear your story, understand your season of life, and learn what you want to say before you even walk into a room.
In-Form and Fashion 
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